Double double causes trouble

Why not call that hamburger doo-hickey a Whatchamacallit?

 

In the beginning, man, or woman, arranged his or her various syllables into patterns and attached meanings to them. And language was born. And it spread to the ends of the Earth, unfettered by trademark, patent and copyright laws, because they hadn’t been invented yet. If the gift of gab had been a franchise rather than a gift, it might have died with its inventor or been tied up indefinitely in prehistoric probate, leaving the rest of us to make do with grunts and gestures. Before long, that might be the only way to order a hamburger with two beef patties and two slices of cheese.

I grew up calling it a double double. And if you’re the typical carnivorous Texan, chances are you did, too. It’s what Dairy Queen and Whataburger have been calling them. Whataburger says it started calling them that from day one, which for Whataburger was in 1950.

Trademarks appear

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I called them double doubles because that’s what they were called at my grandmother’s hamburger restaurant, the Wilson Building Sandwich Shop, which closed in 1984. Whenever I ate there, my grandmother, Marika Govatos, pushed double doubles on me because, like many grandmothers, stuffing her grandchildren with food was a mission.

Her partner, John Platis, said he was the one who introduced the double double at the Wilson Building Sandwich Shop, sometime in the early 1960s. He hadn’t heard of anyone else making double doubles, or calling them double doubles.

But unbeknownst to my grandmother, her partner, Whataburger and Dairy Queen, a California chain called In-N-Out Burger trademarked the name double double in 1963. Recently, In-N-Out sued Whataburger for using the name, because both chains own restaurants in Arizona.
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Something creative

 

Nobody’s trying to stop Whataburger from making and selling double doubles. But if In-N-Out - as Burger King might say - has it its way, then Whataburger will have to stop calling them double doubles. And here’s a double whammy: Whataburger also would have to stop describing them as "double meat, double cheese."

Both Whataburger and Dairy Queen say it never occurred to them to trademark the doubling of the word "double."

"It surprises me when a trademark is granted for something as generic as double double," said Larry Newell, president of the Texas Dairy Queen Operators Council. "I would think that the trademark office would insist on something a little bit more creative, or less generic."

‘Too hungry’

Platis says trade marking double double never occurred to him, either. Though he had been under the impression that he was its originator, he never thought it was all that original.

"I just decided to go ahead and build it," he said, "for the people who were too hungry."

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One specialist in the legalities of trademarks and branding, Chris Nikides of the biotechnology branding, pharmaceutical branding, and consumer branding consultancy firm Brand Institute, says In-N-Out appears to have a strong legal claim to the exclusive use of "double double," although its claim on "double meat, double cheese" is unlikely.

Whataburger also can argue that the name is generic, though Nikides thinks it isn’t.

"There is a valid registration for the name ‘double double,’ which means that the government thought it was distinctive enough to approve it."

If legal ownership of the duplication of the word "double" seems odd, Nikides pointed out another one: NBA coach Pat Riley owns exclusive rights to the word "three-peat." We can say three-peat. But we can’t sell three-peat T-shirts or coffee mugs. Nor can the Baltimore Ravens if they win the next two Super Bowls. Only Pat Riley can do that.

In the meantime, nobody can stop me from calling that big burger thingy what I call everything else: a Whatchamacallit.
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